My Soul is Deeply Troubled

Lesson #197

With this lesson we will start the next section, defined by John 12:27 – 36, in which Jesus teaches about his coming death on the cross. “Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But for this purpose I have come to this hour” (John 12:27 ESV). What a verse! Have you ever experienced a time when you faced something that totally overwhelmed you and set your adrenaline surging through your body? Jesus is drawing closer and closer to an event that is beyond our understanding because we have never been without sin and about to experience the sting of death and the cup of God’s wrath, which will separate Jesus from his Father. Try to imagine what it would be like for Jesus, the holy righteous Son of God, to absorb our sin with the death that comes with it and the curse of God as punishment.

When Jesus saw Mary and the Jews weeping, in John 11:33, he became deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled as he thinks about the evils and curse of death that took the life of his friend Lazarus. This God Man is beginning to more fully realize that his state of holiness is about to become indescribably horrid; something he has never experienced in all of eternity. “Now” that Jesus is closer to the cross, he again is reminded about what lies ahead and as a result his soul is troubled or stirred up and unsettled. He is so deeply troubled that he doesn’t know what to say to his Father. Think about having the knife to your throat with the command to deny the Lord or else you get sliced. What shall you say? Do you deny Jesus to save your body or do you stand firm and give your body as a living sacrifice to God as many of our brother and sisters who are living under persecution?

The Son of Man feels the full weight of what lies ahead (the horrific suffering from scourging, the agony of the cross, and the separation from his Father) and he says, “What shall I say?” He thinks of the coming agony and would like so much to avoid it, but he realizes it was for this purpose that he has come to this hour and he cries out, “Father, glorify your name” (John 12:28a ESV). A heavy dark cloud seems to be hanging over him, but for a moment there appears to be a slight break in the gloomy darkness of agony and instead of crying out for a legion of angles to deliver him from the impending tremendous trial, he utters a prayer from the depths of his heart and cries out, “Father, glorify your name.” How do you think his Father will respond? We will find out in the next lesson.

Prayer

Father, there are times when I feel overwhelmed by a trial that seems to close in on me with its deepening darkness of despair. I know this trial is for my benefit, to know my spiritual growth, but I feel alone and wonder where you are. Like my exams in college when my teacher watches, I know you are watching and I know that the trial will not overwhelm me and will be for my benefit. Father, I pray that each trial will develop greater endurance and reveal areas of needed growth. Lord, through my suffering I need to stay focused on the cross where you suffered for me and know that not only am I crucified with you, but I will rise with you.